I got an email this morning and I was going to politely, but firmly, brush the sender off but reading through the piece I thought it was important to show people what America’s culture of perpetual victimhood has wrought. The letter comes from Brian who runs a blog called Victimized over the AOC and follows other blogs supposedly dedicated to the “plight” of victims of what I guess they’re calling “romantic abuse” where someone is, prepare yourselves, lied to by potential Internet suitors.
Too bad but I would ignore this or express some sympathy for these sad sacks who had their hearts broken (and accounts emptied no doubt) by some smooth typing virtual Cassanova were it not for the fact that they seem to be claiming that lying to get in some loser’s pants is morally equivalent to raping a child. Here’s the email I opened this morning:
Brian wrote:
I follow Lovefraud (lovefraud.com) and Cyberpaths
(http://cyberpaths.blogspot.com)Â which feature sexual/ “romantic” predators
who prey on adults in the same manner molesters prey on kids.
The difference between a pedophile and these “sociopathic seducers” is simply
that “sociopathic seducers” target adults; pedophiles target kids.
Consent to sexual relationships is legally based on the lack of force and an
adult partner. However, there are many factors which can negate consent
morally, even if it doesn’t do so legally.
If someone lies about the true purpose of the “courting,” then meaningful
consent can’t be given, and you have a victim and a perp.
Some have said that in some cases, adults who have been sexually abused as kids
can’t emotionally consent to sexual relationships because they are emotionally
kids until they are treated.
Sociopathic seducers will simply use psychological coercion to gain what they
want from their adult victims, while rapists use force, and pedophiles use
kids.
The concept of “consenting adult” is meaningless because sociopaths will
exploit other power differences besides age, and will do whatever it takes to
make sure they have power over their victims.
Similar age and marriage simply acts as a cover for a sociopath to do their
damage because a 30 year old with a spouse will always be less suspicious that
a 30 year old “loving on” a 15 year old.
As a conservative, you empahsize waiting until marriage, but with these
sociopaths, marriage would simply be a way to access someone’s grown daughter
(or son) in a way similar to a pedophile’s accessing kids.
Website: http://victimsover18.blogspot.com/
Because I feel his heart may be in the right place I feel bad about fisking this steaming pile of Internet nonsense that’s been fertilized with a liberal dose of … well liberalism. This idea that adults are the victims of other adults who fib their way into fellatio is not just a monument to the desire of all people who make bad decisions to be seen as victims, but it leads to the most evil and wicked of all logical fallacies, namely that a one night stand or relationship gone bad is morally equivalent to the sexual exploitation of children. How any adult could write or say such a thing with a straight face is beyond me.
But let me take some of Brian’s argument point by point:
The difference between a pedophile and these “sociopathic seducers” is simply
that “sociopathic seducers” target adults; pedophiles target kids.
No, that is not the difference at all. The “sociopathic seducers” Brian is complaining about are just shiftless slut hunters who know that if you say (or type) the right things to certain people you’ll be rewarded with sex. Pedophiles prey on children specifically because they are incapable of fending off an adult’s advances, they are at the mercy of the predator. The “victims” in Brian’s scenario refused to fend off someone’s advances, and were at the mercy of no one. Remember that we’re not talking about domestic violence here, when you read the sites it is clear that what we’re talking about are people feeling betrayed by their online lovers. To compare this in any way to child rape is disgusting.
Consent to sexual relationships is legally based on the lack of force and an
adult partner. However, there are many factors which can negate consent
morally, even if it doesn’t do so legally.
If someone lies about the true purpose of the “courting,” then meaningful
consent can’t be given, and you have a victim and a perp.
According to this every woman who stuffs her bra and kisses her hot friend at the bar is raping the men she dates when he finds out she’s not a busty bisexual swinger. This is juvenile sour grapes masquerading as victimization. If you’ve consented to sex with a person and you’re an adult, finding out he isn’t as rich/important/single as he purported to be is not rape. It is not abuse, just as the person who told you a tramp stamp of your boyfriend’s name would be a good idea (and still look fabulous when you’re 50) didn’t abuse you. In these cases you are abusing yourself. Affairs go bad, it’s part of life and it isn’t being victimized. Again to claim this is similar in some way to raping children is completely unacceptable.
Some have said that in some cases, adults who have been sexually abused as kids
can’t emotionally consent to sexual relationships because they are emotionally
kids until they are treated.
I don’t know who these “some” are but infantilizing abuse victims serves no one. While I agree that there are victims of sexual abuse that may act out in ways detrimental to themselves, not respecting their boundaries and wishes is a continuation of their abuse. Deciding that someone else can decide when she can give consent is more of a rape than this supposed romantic predation. Some people who are abused go on to have good marriages, some don’t. Some need more therapy than others. This is irrelevant to the point at hand. This is a straw man designed to garner sympathy for this unseemly idea of “romantic predators” by linking the “victims” to a group I would support in a cynical ploy to deflect attention from the essential fatuity of this movement. Adults, whether they are the survivors of childhood abuse or not, should be treated and respected as adults capable of making their own decisions.
Sociopathic seducers will simply use psychological coercion to gain what they
want from their adult victims, while rapists use force, and pedophiles use
kids.
I suppose failing that, they fall back on hypnosis and Black Magic. If “psychological coercion” is, as I suspect, Brain’s euphemism for being manipulative then strippers and panhandlers are predators too. I suspect he’s claiming that people saying something like “C’mon baby, it hurts!” in the time honored “blue ball” ploy are morally equivalent to rapists and child molesters. If you can make that argument, you are at best childishly naive. There is no similarity between a child being raped, a woman being raped and someone smooth talking his way into intercourse.
The concept of “consenting adult” is meaningless because sociopaths will
exploit other power differences besides age, and will do whatever it takes to
make sure they have power over their victims.
No the concept of consenting adults is never meaningless, it is the basis of all sexual morality. When two adults both agree to have sexual relations, no matter how big a whopper one or both told when they met, they are both agreeing to sex. Non adults do not have that capacity and non-consenting adults are not having the same experience. Even with a cad the sex may be good and I suspect sex with a gold digger to be fantastic. Both these people may be horrible people who getting into a relationship with is a mistake. But does that make the sex with them the same as child rape? Was sex with Kendra Wilkinson a rape of Hugh Hefner just because she was lying when she said she loved him?
Similar age and marriage simply acts as a cover for a sociopath to do their
damage because a 30 year old with a spouse will always be less suspicious that
a 30 year old “loving on” a 15 year old.
I’m not sure what this means but I assume it means that some douche he knows is cheating on his wife with a teen. In which case call a cop, but claiming that the marriage itself is the same as rape is a sad misunderstanding of adult relationships, and an indelicate way to make an argument.
As a conservative, you empahsize waiting until marriage, but with these
sociopaths, marriage would simply be a way to access someone’s grown daughter
(or son) in a way similar to a pedophile’s accessing kids.
Uh, no. As a “Conservative” I believe in limited government, low taxes and a strong national defense. I don’t “emphasize” waiting for sex until marriage, nor do I care what any adult does sexually unless they are really victimizing others as in breaking the law. This immature understanding of Conservatives is just another facet of the over all immaturity of the movement Brian is representing.
The linchpin of these people’s argument is that there are “genetic” sociopaths who are constantly stalking them and we must in some way keep them from doing things which, if I understand Brian correctly, are not only legal but pretty much not my business. These so-called “romantic predators” have rights like every other American, including the right to get married and pick up losers (sorry I mean victims) on the Internet. Aside from the desire to be stroked as if they suffered a brutal rape or years of horrendous abuse I’m not even sure what these people want.
But I suspect all they want is for people like me or Pagans Against Child Abuse or Absolute Zero to stand up for them the same way we do for kids. In America we have a cult centered around victimization that validates bad choices (like “dating” online or sleeping with some dude you just met) with a theology of weakness and populates these people’s inner universes with a demonology of predators that includes anyone they feel slighted by.
The one night stand they had is now an encounter with a vicious rapist. Their high school crush on a teacher was emotional exploitation perpetrated by a criminal genius who secretly got his or her jollies ignoring them. Nothing is their fault, no relationship can have simply not worked out. They are perpetual victims of the world’s predation and in their minds they deserve the same sympathy and time from the rest of us as a child who has been raped.
In a sense they are the predators, greedy for the psychic investment of the rest of us into their petty and infantile lives. Brian and the people he supports claim that there is some connection, some equivalence, between their failed relationships and children being raped. What kind of person must you be to even think I, or any rational person, would entertain an idea so vile?
